My food is like my cock, it'll make you close you eyes and go "Mmmm" when it goes in your mouth. Another thing the two have in common is that they never go near vegetarians. As much as I'd like to take a giant shit on those twisted fucks they're still recovering from the last vegetarian blog post.
There are few things in this world as powerful as food. You eat it all fucking day every fucking day. It can ruin your date and your marriage. With all that said, people need to shut the fuck up about it. Oh my God, hearing a bitch moan about how great her trendy fusion salad was is one thing. Hearing her talk about, "the balance of flavors" or anything doing anything to her palate is unforgivable. Why is she a woman? Because I'm sexist, mother fucker.
Foodies will wax poetic for hours about shit they know nothing about. That's all well and good if you're talking about women or politics but food is something I care about so you keep it out of your whore mouth. The idea of these squash shaped assholes sitting at a keyboard with their weird t-rex arms beating off to Andrew Zimmern makes me sick.
Everyone knows a foodie, they're the people that sigh or scoff when you want a Big Mac and a big ass coke. Don't take their shit, you know that Taco Bell isn't really Mexican food but that doesn't stop it from being delicious. Street tacos are great and eating at the new restaurant up the street is the closest you'll ever get to Vietnam I'm not denying that. I just think foodies should shut the fuck up. It's not going to happen, the only thing that would surprise me more is if the cooked something edible they didn't steal a recipe for.
This blog was brought to you by; Andrew Zimmern the lip smacking idiot, the Julie part of Julie and Julia, Remy in the first half of Ratatouille, people that put "Sushi." as their facebook status, and all those stupid blogs I stumbleupon.
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